00:00
00:00
View Profile Blastoise
Blastoise is a large, bipedal, blue tortoise-like Pokémon with a tough brown shell and two powerful water cannons, which are like steel in appearance, that jut out of the top sides of its shell. Despite their size, Blastoise are very gentle Pokémon.

27, Male

Stay at Home Pokémon

Pallet Town

Joined on 11/16/06

Level:
22
Exp Points:
5,000 / 5,380
Exp Rank:
6,252
Vote Power:
6.35 votes
Rank:
Corporal
Global Rank:
2,022
Blams:
1,507
Saves:
2,669
B/P Bonus:
22%
Whistle:
Silver
Medals:
45

Comments (11)

Where the fuck does all that water come from? o_0

I assume you're asking about the water in my shoulder-cannons, right? Our bodies naturally store a good amount of the water in our bodies in sacs as fodder for hydro cannons. It's like how a Camerupt stores lava in it's humps.

That being said, we have to consume more water than any other Pokémon! Gotta fuel up!

So explain when you evolve froma wartorle how you get those bad ass cannons?

Much like Darwin's theory of evolution, Pokémon evolve to make themselves more capable of survival! I'm simply the most evolved form of the Squirtle family because of my awesome cannons! They provide me with the extra protection I need. Nobody messes with a Blastoise with their cannons reared!

^
^
Agreed with. Blastoise is NOT to be messed with.

I'm glad you agree with facts!

You can beat Charizard in a fight, right?

I've fought many Charizards in my time, some consider me somewhat of an expert on the matter. There has never been a Charizard I've lost too.

What do you think about Politoeds?

Well, as a fellow Water-Type, I have much respect for Politoeds. I don't tend to hang around Politoeds too much, though. Usually Poliwraths.

Have you healed up from that ass whooping my Sceptile handed you?

Maybe you're thinking of another Blastoise? I've never fought a Sceptile. I really want to, though!

HOW YOU BEEN DOING THEEZ DAYS NUGGAHHH?

Bullshit. I recognize that scar from when my Sceptile hit you with a Leaf Blade.

Blastoise is a cute Pokémon to me! Or maybe that's just you ;)

do blastoises have penises?or are those cannons secretly penises with water for sperm?

NYOH NYOH NYOHHH NYOHH HYONGGH